That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
