like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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