I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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