Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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