Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
two words...techno handjob
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
