She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
