you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
