I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize