I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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