i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
