8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
