her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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