Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.