Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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