sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
