That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
