He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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