mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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