this beer tastes like vomit already
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
