I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
