idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
