the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
