I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
