I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
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