I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
