butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
