Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
