lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
