she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
