Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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