and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
