apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives