are you still at the devil's house?
just tell him i said nine months
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
