just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
