just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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