If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize