Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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