Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
