Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize