Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
