it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
