Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My life is pants optional.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
