Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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