VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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