I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
