My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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