I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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