Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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