dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
time to smoke my breakfast
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
