hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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