Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize