I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
So. Much. Porn.
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