Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
