I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Panties = found
Randomize
