he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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