Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
