My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
